New Identity

You know that when you get married there are a ton of things to change your name on.  I mean I have to go to the Social Security Administration first and foremost, but they have horrid hours and are a 40 minute trip for me.  Yuck.  I could mail my marriage license in, but who’s to say I’ll get it back (though the SSA swears on their website they will send it back, maybe I’ll pay for a certified copy and mail that instead of my original).  Then after that’s changed, you can change your name on everything else.  It’s that one little change though that needs to be done first to set the rest in motion.

Just like changing your identity with God.  You need to make that one little move, take that one little step and then the rest will fall in line.  You must give yourself to God.  You must WANT that relationship with Him.  That’s all He wants.  He wants you to know Him.  But if you don’t let him in, you can’t hear His voice.  After you give yourself to Him, then you’ll feel His love, you’ll hear His voice.

But you also have to live a Godly life.  You have to live the way He intended.  He had His laws written for a reason and His voice and His word will ALWAYS go hand in hand.  If you think He’s telling you to live with someone before you marry them, then you’re not hearing His voice.  You’re hearing what YOU want to hear.

I know I’m not going to gain many fans and readers because of my line of thinking, but I do speak from experience.  I lived with my ex before we were married.  Many things that happened to me at that time were because I turned my back to God.  God doesn’t want His people to suffer and as long as you read His word and listen for His voice.  I turned my back to God during my marriage because my ex is not a believer.  He tried to show me that God does not exist and that he had the proof.  But the thing that got to me is that my ex still wanted to provide the outward appearance that we were Christians, but we only ever attended church on Easter and Christmas.  It was too much to drag ourselves out of bed to go on the other days.  We also had to get our children baptized because that’s what was done in his family.  I now question his motives.

Now I’m not going to be one that says that I’ve lived without sin.  I’m not that type of person to say that I haven’t gone down the wrong path.  I’ve lived a lie.  I have lied, I have taken the Lord’s name in Vain.  I have lusted after other men (though I never ever touch or sleep with another man).  I was abused, I was lied to, I was cheated on.  I’ve lied for him, made excuses and let myself believe that I deserved the treatment I received.  I was belittled and made to think I was less than what I am.

I’ve done many things I regret and there’s nothing I can do to change that now.  The only thing I can do is to ask God to forgive my past wrongs and then to NOT repeat those wrongs.  Just because I know I can ask God to forgive me, but that doesn’t mean I can repeat those offenses over and over again.  Not if I intend to live in His light and His word.

I am now out of that horrible relationship and I see his old patterns reemerging with his new girlfriend.  They live together, he’s lying to her about his extracurricular activities and all I can do is pray for her and pray that she sees through his lies sooner than later.  She believes that God wants her to be there to change his ways. I just think she didn’t want to be alone anymore.

So…  as I change my identity with my new marriage I am also changing my Identity with God.

~In His Name~

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